Not Normal

Having diabetes isn't normal. It's rare. (Is it?) I've met all the people on the internet that have it, and a few in real life.
I'm sitting in my bed on a Sunday evening on my computer, mindlessly watching a show on Netflix. My CGM alarms. Low. Okay, so I eat some graham crackers and peanut butter. Then I start thinking, that's not normal. It's not normal to worry all the time about what my blood sugar is, if what I ate for lunch will make my blood sugar high, if I'll feel sick later today or tomorrow. None of it is normal. It's not normal to have an "external box with tubing and a cannula" (in words of my surgeon) on me all the time. It's not normal to have another computer like chip attached to me all the time to tell me if my blood sugar is high or low. Most kids probably wouldn't even know what the words "blood sugar" and "insulin" mean.
It's not that I'm upset that I'm not normal. Nobody is normal. What even is normal? It's just that I'm still learning how to cope. How to be okay with the fact that I'll probably never be okay, health wise. I'm still learning to cope with the carb counting, the finger sticks, the shots. I've had diabetes for almost five years. And I still don't know if I'll ever be okay with it, if I'll accept it, if I can cope with it. This post is scattered and probably doesn't make sense to anybody else but me. I don't know how to make my thoughts make sense to other people.
Nothing about diabetes is normal, yet I'm still doing. We're still doing it. I shouldn't have to do it, but I do. And I'll just keep doing it, keep not being normal until the day there finally is a cure. Because that day really will come.