Why Talking About Diabetes in High School is Hard

I have type one diabetes. It's a well known fact about me. All my friends, teachers, and relatives know. Even those that I wouldn't consider "friends" know. When I was on the powderpuff football team during homecoming week at my school, the back of my jersey said "TYPE 1." Pretty much, 90% of people I come into regular contact know that I have diabetes and the other 10% don't know or maybe even don't care enough to inquire.

So why do I find it so hard to talk about diabetes? Why when someone says "What's that?" (referring to my insulin pump) is it so hard for me to find the right words to answer with? People have questions. It's normal. Even those who have known me since I was diagnosed still ask me questions about diabetes. Me a year or two ago would have jumped at the chance to inform and educate. But me now mumbles something like "oh... a medical device... for diabetes... I have... diabetes" and feel instantly ashamed and sad about it. Why is that? 

Maybe it's because I'm a high school senior. Maybe it's because diabetes is so often put together with me being weak. Maybe it's because I'm tired of the "Can you eat that?" and "Is your blood sugar okay?" questions I seem to be getting more and more lately. I love my friends, I truly do (or else I wouldn't still be friends with them.) But is there a nice way to tell them to back off and stop talking about diabetes? 

I don't try to hide my diabetes. I never have. But lately, I just simply don't want to talk about it. That doesn't mean I'm not taking care of myself or I'm spiraling downwards when it comes to diabetes care-- I'm not. 

So, maybe it is a teenager thing. Or maybe it's just a me thing. To me lately, talking about diabetes is hard. In my college speech class, we have to write and deliver to the class an informative speech. We get to choose our topics and I chose diabetes. Am I crazy? Yes. But can I do it and do it well? Hopefully. I hope this is the first step to me getting back on track to informing, educating, and advocating for diabetes. Wish me luck!