Slipping

If you haven't read this post, you should do that before reading this.

Sadly, that post, all of the things I described in that post are becoming my reality again. 

I'm finding myself skipping my insulin on purpose. 

I'm finding myself hurting myself on purpose to feel better about things. 

I'm finding my mom drinking. 

I'm finding my grades slipping. 

I'm finding my stress level going through the roof. 

I'm finding my depression level going up. 

The hardest part about all this is that I thought it was over. I thought the years of pain and suffering were over. Will it ever be over?

For now, this is my reality. I'm writing this post because I think it's fair that I share with the DOC what's been up with me lately. 

I'm trying as hard as I can. I'm doing the best I can. It's the best I can do with all these things going on in my life. 

Putting on a happy face gets harder and harder each day.

I need to get back on track. I did it once, I can do it again. 

I will try. Just hang in there with me a little longer. 

Falling Apart

As many of you know, I went on a trip to Utah this past week. It was awesome! Security at the airport wasn't too bad. I'll write more about my trip later. Right now, I'm just writing this because I've been a little absent in the DOC. I'm sad about it. 

I've been sick for the past three weeks. I went on vacation. I have been SO BUSY with school this year. I joined the mock trial team at my school. I got my first C on my report card last week. I got accepted into National Honors Society at school. I was nominated for two scholarships last week for having 600+ hours of volunteer work. My room needs to be cleaned. I need to go shopping for dress clothes. I still need to unpack from my trip. My phone has been broken.

Needless to say, my life is a little complicated and stressful for the past couple weeks. I have so much on my mind. I have barely paid attention to diabetes, and when I have, it's been because I'm disappointed in myself because of what my numbers are. I have a endo appointment on November 20th that I am SO not looking forward to. 

On top of all these things, I've been going through personal and family problems for the past couple weeks. I'm hoping and praying that everything is going to be okay. It has to be okay. 

My life is just falling apart a little right now.

So, friends, I'll be back soon. After my life calms down and I put all the pieces back together, I'll be back. Just know that even if I'm not present all the time, I'm always thinking about you all and I (try) to read your blog posts and tweets. 

For now, thoughts and prayers are appreciated. <3