Shots vs Pump

Before my pump, I was on shots. Novolog and Levimir, which added up to be around 6 or 7 shots a day. I've been on my pump, the Animas Ping, for about 6 or 7 months now. And I love it. Or should I say did love it. At first, it was great. Amazing. Awesome. I went to my endocrinologist 3 months after I started. On shots, my A1c was 6.9. Three months after starting on my pump, my A1c was 6.5. It was an improvement, but I'd take a 6.5 or a 6.9 any day.

Lately, I've not been as big of a fan as I was in the beginning. I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I feel like something is wrong. My CDE told me when I started that they often see a decrease in A1c numbers the first six months patients are on the pump, but after that they tend to go up again. It makes sense. When you first get a pump you're excited and do everything right with it. Once the initial excitement goes away, you go back to do things the same way you did before- which probably means your numbers won't be as tight (if you're like me).

I feel like something is wrong because, even though I feel guilty to say it, I think I want to go back on shots. It's crazy. I can't believe that I've been thinking about it so much. I feel insanely guilty about it, because my mom went through all kinds of things to get me this piece of great technology. My health insurance covers it and the supplies 100% (lucky us) but just getting it approved was a struggle. I feel guilty because there's so many people who do want a pump who can't afford one or can't get one for whatever reason. I just plain feel guilty. I'm tired of being attached to it all the time. I just want it off. Maybe I've been feeling this way because my blood sugars have been a little crazy lately and higher than I want. I feel like after a day or two I'm not absorbing my insulin well at all. My blood sugars are pretty good for a day or two after I change my site, but after that, they're terrible. Changing my site every other day wouldn't be worth it for me, and I'd rather just be on shots. That's just how I feel.

I know it's silly to feel guilty. I should do what's best for me. I have yet to bring this up with my mother. I'm still hoping that my blood sugars will somehow get incredibly better and I'll want to stay on the pump. Unfortunately, I can't see that happening. I've been making basal and ratio changes for weeks now, and still, my blood sugars have not been matching up with the effort I've been giving them.

I go to my endo again on November 20th. I've decided to stick with it until then, and if I still feel the same, I will bring it up with my doctor. And try to talk to my mom about it before that appointment so she's not completely blindsided.

Does anyone else have experience with this? Being on a pump but preferring shots?