Diabetes Blog Week: Share and Don't Share

Today's Topic: Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one's daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don't see?
What I wish they could see:
I'm a teenager and it's not easy. Throw in diabetes and it gets pretty hard to balance. I wish they could see that I didn't check my blood sugar at all that particular day in between 2pm and 9pm because I was busy busy busy with school, studying, and extracurricular things. I didn't ignore it, I didn't didn't do it on purpose, I was just busy. It was a one time thing. When they ask "Do all your friends know you have diabetes?" I want to ask them how easy it'd be for them to bring that up in a conversation- let alone on a date. My friends know I have diabetes, but it's not something I tell people when I first meet them. All those lows and highs you see in the afternoon sometimes after lunch are because I eat lunch from my school and how knows how many carbs are in... what is that? I try my hardest and even look things up, but being off by only 5 grams can still send me way up or way down. But I do try my hardest. I wish they would see that I know my body better than them. If I tell them I'm not going to cover when my blood sugar is 190 and I'm not going to eat it's because I know I'll be low later, not because I don't want to give insulin. I wish they'd see that yep, social situations do influence how I take care of my diabetes but I'm a teenager trying to find myself. I wish they could see that I'm just trying my hardest, even if they don't think it's hard enough.

What I hope they don't see:
I hope they don't see that yes, my mom or siblings still insert my infusion sets for me because some days I just can't do it. This might sound silly, but I hope they don't see how much independence I have. My mom is a single mother and I haven't seen my dad for years. I live at home with my twin brother with 4 other siblings not living at home. My mom works nights. So yeah, I have a lot of independence to eat what I want, do what I want, and take care of my diabetes how I want. Some people might think this is good, but my doctor certainly does not. She thinks my mother should be way more involved than she is. We've tried and failed. I just don't need her. I'm perfectly fine with taking care of myself. I hope they don't see that I don't change my lancet every time I test or use an alcohol wipe every time. I hope they don't see that sometimes when I'm low I eat waaaay too much and forget to cover for the extra. Or that sometimes I drink regular soda because I want to and I can. (of course I give insulin for it) Most of all, I hope they don't see that sometimes diabetes doesn't come first in my life like they think it should. I'm a teenager with lots of things going on. Diabetes is not always number one, but it's a least in the top five and isn't that good enough for right now?