It's Going to be Higher

I say that before every endocrinologist appointment. Without fail, I tell my mom "I think my A1c is going to be higher... I mean, not too high, just higher than last time." And without fail, she says "it's okay, we'll see." 

I've been struggling a lot the past 2 weeks with my blood sugars (and life) and I was feeling really down. I had been reminding myself that numbers are just numbers and it will be okay. 

My mom and I got in the car today to make the three hour drive to the endocrinologist and we said what we always say. I thought about the times of the day my doctor would want to make changes to. I thought about what I would say when she critiqued my numbers and asked why they had been what they had been. 

And then she came out to get me. She was smiling ear to ear and I was thinking "Hm, she's having a good day. Weird, because we have been waiting FOREVER!" 

That's when she said it. 

"This is the lowest A1c I have seen in forever! I never see this! I'm so proud of you!" 

I almost had to turn around to see if there was another patient named Brea standing behind me. Of course, there was not. 

She held up the little yellow paper that the nurse writes my A1c on and there it was. 

5.9. What? 

That's when I thought, that's too low! She's going to yell at me!

Three months ago my A1c was 6.1. I didn't think it could get better than that. 

(Now is a good time to say- this post is not to tell you how "good" my A1c is/was. It is just a number. I share these numbers online to help other people realize that it IS possible, not to show off!)

Let me just tell you, 2 years ago my A1c was 10.8. I was not in a good place. Now, as you can see, I AM in a good place. (Partly because of the DOC- I love you guys!)

My doctor did not yell at me. She looked at my Dexcom graphs and, after I told her the past couple weeks have been crazy, decided not to make any changes. She did some mathematical things and said some numbers that she said were all good (who knows, I'm not a math person) 

I told her about my joint problems and other pains and about my appointment with another specialist (after two others have said they don't know what's wrong with me) and she wished me luck and hugged me. (More about other appointments in later posts- still in my drafts) 

So this is when I tell you, hard work does pay off. Life has not been the easiest or happiest for me lately- but I'm trying. 

This A1c has been a sign for me. A "you can do it! Keep going!" 

I truly feel like I can do it. I can keep going. I can be happy and healthy. 

And for that, I am thankful.