Why I Chose to Support the ADA

Diabetes comes in all shapes, forms, styles, and characters. As much as us type ones think it's us who is affected the most, type twos and others are just as greatly affected.
So when I first decided I wanted to participate in a diabetes walk, I looked in JDRF first. And when they didn't have any walks scheduled near me (the closest one is 3 hours away), I looked at the American Diabetes Association. And guess what? The closest one they had was about 3 hours away too! So what was I to do? A few years ago, my family and I did participate in a walk for the JDRF in Washington, DC. And don't get me wrong, it was great! But what about my community? What about the small town I live in, where diabetes advocacy barely exists? Well, let me tell you, that just wasn't cutting it for me anymore.
As I was sitting in my CDE's office the other day, I brought up how I had been thinking about organizing a diabetes walk in our community, I just didn't know how to go about it. I knew it would be a lot of work, that's why I was SO glad when she said that herself, and the people in her office has thrown around the idea also, but when it got to actually putting their plan into action, nobody had enough motivation. (Well, I do!) She also mentioned that the majority of her patients are type two, but they are seeing more and more type ones (like me).
So I have decided to organize a diabetes walk in this tiny small town of mine, and I have decided on going through the ADA instead of the JDRF.
Why? As my mom and I threw around some more ideas for the event, I realized that this is something I want to become a yearly thing. Even after (if) I move away to college. And now, after having support from my CDE and the wellness program at the local hospital, I believe that if I organize it this year, it WILL become a yearly thing. After thinking about it a lot, I want this walk to be and do SO MUCH MORE than just raise money; I want this walk to build connections and friendships, and to be about everyone who has diabetes, not just type ones. So I decided that having a walk through the JDRF would, while great, would limit the participation in the community.
For now, I'm still in the very early planning stages. The walk will most likely be sometime in September 2014.
I can't wait to see what this becomes. I'm dedicated to make a change in my community, now I just need the right people to support me.
I plan to keep blogging about the walk's progress here, so keep checking for more exciting news!

It Only Takes.....

It only takes a second,

to decide I don't need to check my blood sugar,
to "unlike" a diabetes page or group on Facebook,
to scroll past the diabetes related posts and tweets.

And it only takes a minute,

to decide I don't need my insulin for that dinner,
to forget to change my site, even when it's on its fourth or fifth day,
to forget to refill my many prescriptions I need to survive. 

And it only takes five minutes,

to convince my family and friends that diabetes is still under control,
to convince myself that yeah, it's okay to eat more without insulin,
to let rude comments about diabetes slide, even thought I should have been advocating and informing.

It only takes an hour,
to waste my time doing something else instead of connecting with the DOC,
to do homework instead of write blog posts,
to talk to my family about anything other than diabetes and sickness.

But it also only takes seconds, minutes, and hours to make changes, to improve, to heal, once again.
I think I can, I think I can.

It's Going to be Higher

I say that before every endocrinologist appointment. Without fail, I tell my mom "I think my A1c is going to be higher... I mean, not too high, just higher than last time." And without fail, she says "it's okay, we'll see." 

I've been struggling a lot the past 2 weeks with my blood sugars (and life) and I was feeling really down. I had been reminding myself that numbers are just numbers and it will be okay. 

My mom and I got in the car today to make the three hour drive to the endocrinologist and we said what we always say. I thought about the times of the day my doctor would want to make changes to. I thought about what I would say when she critiqued my numbers and asked why they had been what they had been. 

And then she came out to get me. She was smiling ear to ear and I was thinking "Hm, she's having a good day. Weird, because we have been waiting FOREVER!" 

That's when she said it. 

"This is the lowest A1c I have seen in forever! I never see this! I'm so proud of you!" 

I almost had to turn around to see if there was another patient named Brea standing behind me. Of course, there was not. 

She held up the little yellow paper that the nurse writes my A1c on and there it was. 

5.9. What? 

That's when I thought, that's too low! She's going to yell at me!

Three months ago my A1c was 6.1. I didn't think it could get better than that. 

(Now is a good time to say- this post is not to tell you how "good" my A1c is/was. It is just a number. I share these numbers online to help other people realize that it IS possible, not to show off!)

Let me just tell you, 2 years ago my A1c was 10.8. I was not in a good place. Now, as you can see, I AM in a good place. (Partly because of the DOC- I love you guys!)

My doctor did not yell at me. She looked at my Dexcom graphs and, after I told her the past couple weeks have been crazy, decided not to make any changes. She did some mathematical things and said some numbers that she said were all good (who knows, I'm not a math person) 

I told her about my joint problems and other pains and about my appointment with another specialist (after two others have said they don't know what's wrong with me) and she wished me luck and hugged me. (More about other appointments in later posts- still in my drafts) 

So this is when I tell you, hard work does pay off. Life has not been the easiest or happiest for me lately- but I'm trying. 

This A1c has been a sign for me. A "you can do it! Keep going!" 

I truly feel like I can do it. I can keep going. I can be happy and healthy. 

And for that, I am thankful. 

Time Will Tell

Being half way through my junior year of high school, I've been thinking about my future a lot. This summer I'll be touring colleges, applying to colleges, and deciding (hopefully) on a major for college. All before I even start my senior year. Whaaaat? When did I grow up?

Thinking about the future is scary. 

I live in a town that has a college in it, and many people end up going there once they graduate. That being said, none of my siblings (I have four that are in college/have graduated from college) have gone there. We've always been a family that is intelligent and people often look down on people who stay here to go to college (we live in a very small town). 

So, the point is, I've grown up thinking I would go away for college. Until a few months ago, I could not wait to get out of my town and go away to college. 

And then I started thinking. How was I going to do it? College is going to be hard to adjust to- diabetes wise. I'm absolutely positive my blood sugars will not be good considering high school hasn't been all that great blood sugar wise (stress, tests, the works). Being responsible for getting my prescriptions on time, making sure I don't run out of anything, all my doctor's appointments, on top of normal college things? Whoa. I'm stressed out just thinking about it. And I wouldn't even be near ANY of my family or my mom or anybody I know. My older siblings tell me over and over again how stressful college is and how hard it will be-but it will be worth it. And I believe that. It will be worth it. 

So my question is, do I go away to college and get the typical college experience, live in the dorm and all? Or do I stay here, play it safe, and put my health first? I still have a while to decide. But I need to think about it. Only time will tell what the right decision is for me. I know I could handle going away and I know in the end I would be just fine. But at the same time somewhere deep down inside I'm screaming to myself, don't go! Stay home! It'll be easier! It'll be healthier! You'll be happier! But will I? 

I'm confused about the future. I'm scared about the future. I'm angry that I even have to think about how diabetes will affect my future.

 What would you do? Do you have any wise words of wisdom?

Friday Fives: First of 2014

It's 2014. What?! How did that happen? 2015 is the year I graduate from high school! And it's already 2014?!
Here's what's been going on in my life.

1. Diabetes and being a teenager is hard. It's not impossible. But it sure does take a lot out of you. I'm realizing this more and more, the more busy my life becomes.
2. 2014 means the program that used to cover our (ridiculously expensive) co-pays for diabetes supplies no longer exists. Sigh.
3. For Christmas "Santa" bought me a baking class (I LOVE baking!) that starts soon and I am so excited! (But a little stressed about how it will fit into my schedule.)
4. I'm on the Mock Trial team for my school. Which is a team that gets a made up court case every year, picks attorneys and witnesses and goes up against other high school students in a real court room. I am not at all interested in being a lawyer or anything of the sort when I get older but it looks good on college applications (hehe). I am a witness this year and our first trial is January 7th. I am nervous because I've barely had time to memorize my affidavit. (Not to mention, how the heck are my blood sugars going to react while I'm on the witness stand?!)
5. My blood sugars have been absolutely insane. I have no idea why. Christmas break? I feel defeated because every time I look at my Dexcom or meter. All I can think it "HOW?!" I've changed basal rates and insulin to carb ratios and insulin sensitivity factors and still nothing. I'm going to give it another week since next week is a full school week. After that if my number are still crazy, I'll have to email my CDE. I'm completely exhausted!

That's all about my life for now. We had off school today because of the snow and the temperature here. So I'm going to enjoy my day off and start reading the book I've had checked out of the library for two weeks. (Oops.)
Have a good weekend everyone!