Being Different

            Think back to your teenage years. I bet there was a time you felt different, you didn't fit in, you liked something everyone else didn't like or vice versa, you get the point. Everyone feels different at some point in their lives. For me, that point is right now. And the reason I feel different? Diabetes.
             It's summer now and everyone is out of school. I'm going into the 11th grade next year. I don't know how it was when you were a teenager, but now everyone likes to party. Especially in small towns that don't have much of anything to do, like my town. I've always known that I can't really be a "real" teen, who experiments with alcohol and whatnot. I've said no to numerous party invites in the past. By now, my friends know to not even ask. Now, don't get me wrong, even if I didn't have diabetes I probably would still say no to those party invites. But it'd be nice to know that I could say yes if I wanted to. I've been warned many times about what alcohol does to blood sugars, and that I shouldn't drink, especially during my teenage years. I mean, teens shouldn't drink anyways. I know there will be a point that I do drink (probably when I'm legal). But for right now, I just feel different, left out.
            This all started really sinking in when I was woken up this morning at 11 (yes, 11, I babysat until 2am last night- woah) by a phone call from a really good friend. The conversation went something like this:
Her: "Can I come sleep at your house for a few hours?"
Me (confused after just waking up, mind you): "Uhmmmm, what?"
Other Friend takes phone: "Listen, just let your come over. I took care of her while she was puking all night last night and I have to go to work."
Me: "Uhmmmmmmm, okay"
Them: "We're dropping her off in 5 minutes"
      So she came over, she slept, she ate crackers, she threw up, she went home. And in that moment I was both jealous that it couldn't be me (sounds silly, doesn't it?) and I was glad it couldn't be me. I feel different, yet I don't care. I'm still trying to figure my feelings out about this subject, but mostly I just feel different and left out. Until I figure out my other feelings, I'll just go in being the sober (don't forget great, amazing, and awesome) friend that is called when drunk friends need help. And for now I'm somewhat okay with that.

Driving... Or Not

In every teenager's life comes the time to get their permit and eventually (hopefully) their license. In the state of Maryland to get your permit you have to get a attendance form filled out by your school's guidance counselor. It pretty much says that the student applying to get their permit has missed 10 or less days  (unexcused) in the last semester. Which would be fine, for everyone else. Everyone except for me. I have missed somewhere around 35 or 40 days this year. With 15 or so being excused. And about 14 of the unexcused days have been in the last semester. See the problem here? Why have I missed this many days, you may ask? One word- diabetes. I missed a lot (A LOT) of days this year because my blood sugar was high or low, days when I felt sick from said blood sugar, and there was no way I was going to make it through a school day. I got my pump about 2 months ago and my blood sugars have be so SO much better. But I still have all those unexcused absences to deal with. I still get all A's and B's, better grades than most people my age and I always keep up with all my missed work. So WHY is the attendance policy for getting your permit not, instead, a policy about grades? Which I believe would be MUCH more effective. If I keep up with my missed work and have a legitimate excuse for missing those days (which we all know I do) why should I be denied the privilege to get my permit? Maybe it's just me that thinks and feels this way, or maybe it's just because it's happening to me. I can get my permit at the end of July and my mom and I are doing everything we can to make sure I will be able to get my permit, meanwhile my twin brother makes fun of me every chance he gets and that's not making this any easier. UGH!